Nightmare Hours (#2)

They played with a little magic,

They relieved a little pain.

Now the monsters wreck their havoc,

And everyone has to pay.

Copyright © 2017 by Nita Pan

All rights reserved.  This post or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the author except for the use of brief quotations in a review.
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Dear Words

Dear Words,

You’re long.  You’re short.  You can astound us and smash us to minuscule pieces.  We string you together and you define our identity.  I find myself obsessing over how to order you in every page, every paragraph.  I exhaust you throughout the day with both my mouth and pen.

They say to use ‘kind’ words.  But what does that mean?  In my mind, I see that you are nothing but a tool.  I spit you out in red-hot fury.  My body racks with sobs, and you come out in choking gasps.  Biting my lip, you flow awkwardly out from my smile.  Disjointed and full of life, you bubble out alongside laughter.

If there’s anything I’ve learned from both life and writing, it is that you are what we make of you.

So, here it is:

I’m sorry for using you in anger, and I’m sorry for making you trip over yourself when I’m flustered.  I am deeply sorry for using you as a sword, but I won’t apologize for making them laugh.  I’m not sorry for brightening their day, or making them feel better about themselves.  For making people think, accept, and luxuriate in life.  The world is a beautiful place covered with scars and filled with equally scarred and beautiful people.  Your very existence gives us the opportunity and obligation to make the world a better place.

Thank you.

– Nita Pan

Soul is Floundering

Spinning round,

Never touches the ground.

His head is grounded

Yet his soul is floundering.

He wants to touch her himself

And not the beast inside him.

The beast is all she can see anymore,

Even though that isn’t what they wanted it to be.

Copyright © 2016 by Nita Pan

All rights reserved.  This post or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the author except for the use of brief quotations in a review.

Tyrants and Cowards

Soldiers are marching,

Throwing civilians in trucks

Mothers are crying,

As their children are taken away

Shots are fired,

And the cries are silenced

Trains are chugging onward,

Carrying the  prisoners to their death

Tyrants and cowards

Rule the Earth.

Copyright © 2016 by Nita Pan

All rights reserved.  This post or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the author except for the use of brief quotations in a review.

Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust

Ashes to ashes,

Dust to dust.

Who’s going to be left

When the weapons hits the ground?

What will be left

Besides sweet memories?

Will anyone save us now

As the vapors fill our lungs?

All we have left is

Rubble on our streets.

I hear the screams

Of people all around.

Nothing’s left behind aside from

Our comrades at our feet.

Copyright © 2016 by Nita Pan

All rights reserved.  This post or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the author except for the use of brief quotations in a review.

Hey Courtney

Hey Courtney,

Didn’t you see the way he broke

After his parents wrapped around that tree?

The blank slate of his face when you said it was on purpose.

Did you cry when they found that boy’s body floating on the lake?

Hey Courtney,

How many times did you throw cupcakes at Alison H.?

Did you get a kick when she slit her wrists and nearly died?

 Hey Courtney,

Your heart is a box that hasn’t been unlocked in so long.

Can’t you feel anything?

When you’re having sex with your best friend’s ex are there any regrets?

The videotape he made recorded everything.

Hey Courtney,

The tape wasn’t the only thing made that night.

Hey Courtney,

Even though you should feel lost and alone

You’re too busy drinking your worries away.

Don’t you see that if you keep this up the baby won’t be okay?

Hey Courtney,

You drive to the clinic to get something done

About that baby bump.

Hey Courtney,

Were you sober enough to see the headlights?

Hey Courtney,

Shadows dance before your eyes.

Your whole body aches and you finally worry about the other life inside.

You’re wheeled to the maternity ward.

Vomit stains the hospital floor.

You scream as they yell push!

Hey Courtney,

Cradling that piece of magic in your aching arms,

You think to yourself that nothing could go wrong.

Hey Courtney,

You don’t care that he has his father’s eyes.

All you see is that God sent you an angel in disguise.

Your life’s on a new course;

You’ll say you’re sorry to all you’ve wronged.

Thinking of the drowning, you hold up the babe.

“Daniel-James is your name.”

But, hey Courtney,

Daniel-James was three months early.

Courtney,

Can’t you see that this isn’t the end?

Even though he’s entangled in tubes, he’ll be alright.

You’ll be alright.

Copyright © 2016 by Nita Pan

All rights reserved.  This post or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the author except for the use of brief quotations in a review.

Shake Them Off (Demons)

My demons circle me

I can see no way out

Perhaps I should give in

Have a little of that drink,

Pop that pill,

And

      Just

            Stop

                  Living.

Because it’s hard to move with

The Devil on my back.

How can I keep going on

With him tearing at my flesh?

Or can I shake him off?

When my time runs out,

Will I be a Marley?

Or can I ditch the shackles of all  my sins?

But the demons are seductive

And trying to be good is hard

Can I shake them off?

Will I even try?

It’s hard to crawl with

These demons in me

My breath is weak

And heart heavy.

Copyright © 2016 by Nita Pan

All rights reserved.  This post or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the author except for the use of brief quotations in a review.