Voices

Sitting,

Sharing with friends.

We talk about useless things.

Until I bring up a popular conversation starter:

Why will we be institutionalized?

One’s for murder,

The others for drug-like symptoms,

The other we can’t decide.

But when I mention the voices,

Everyone freezes.

I say I’ve heard them all my life,

And one of my friends laugh,

Saying that she hears one as well.

Shaking my head,

I smile and say,

“What does it sound like?”

Is it a he or a she?

A gender?

Can you see it with your waking eyes?

Most are partially out of the kitchen;

All look worried.

Once I explain,

They say they get it

-That they understand-

But how could they?

These are my voices!

My friends!

I talk to them,

(Pull out a notebook,)

And bring life to them in the end.

Copyright © 2015 by Nita Pan

All rights reserved.  This post or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the author except for the use of brief quotations in a review.

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‘Sitters,’ ‘Takers,’ and the Truth of Both

(Taken from my old blog allegracassidy.wordpress.com.)

Not all those who wander are lost.

-excerpt from “All That is Gold Does Not Glitter”

by J. R. R. Tolkien

      As the wondrous author who wrote The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings trilogy said, “Not all those who wander are lost.”  Some are just shuffling around, waiting for the unexpected to occur and disrupt their monotonous schedule.  They are the ‘sitters.’  ‘Sitters’ are the cautious individuals who either have their lives mapped out or are too terrified to achieve change; which requires for ‘sitters’ to lose themselves.  Others are ‘takers.’  The ‘takers’ are those who at least seem to be more confident in their approach to life.  ‘Takers’ are willing to lose themselves for the change.  They are not afraid of the risk of becoming lost.

      But in truth, we are all ‘sitters’ and ‘takers.’  We want some sort of stability, and yet we thirst for adventure.  The desire for the thrill of getting lost in the enchantment of life runs through our veins. But the careful, logical part of our self wants to have some sort of stability to fall back on.  It seems that our entire existence as the human species  is a battle between the ‘sitter’ and ‘taker’ sides inside of us.  “I bet that I could eat that cake in one sitting.” versus “I could eat the desert, but I would gain excessive and unwanted weight.”  “Will I take the leap of faith and trust him/her?” and “Is it wise course of action?  I barely know the person.”  The war rages on and on.  Day in and day out, we contradict ourselves.

      We will most likely always have these inner battles.  The best course of action to deal with these ‘inner voices’ is to wander the paths in between.  We must be willing to take to sometimes dangerous journey in the midst of the two halves of us.  At the start, it may seem daunting and possibly hapless, but as always, at the beginning of any venture, it is difficult.  The key to success is to persevere and find the balance in between the both.

Copyright © 2014-2015 by Nita Pan

All rights reserved.  This post or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the author except for the use of brief quotations in a review.